My Two Cents Worth... And Yes, Amalayer!

I would guess the only people who doesn't know what or who Amalayer would be are ones who are not constantly connected to the wired world. I was ambiguous at first when I viewed this by now, viral video. I guessed it would not go viral as there was no clear beginning and no clear contravida to the snafu. I did not know what set off the Amalayer lady and while she came off as condescending, who knows what I would have done had I been in her place. Knowing me, ganun din siguro ako kataray at shempre pa, wag na nating banggitin ang boses kong kayang mag-project hanggang sa dulo ng gym, tipong pang-actress sa stage play. Itsura namang kawawa din si Ate Lady Guard, parang me sa ipis ang boses.

O sige, let's talk about Ate Lady Guard. Mababa ang sweldo ng mga yan, at saka kaya guard sila, kasi baka hindi sila qualified sa call center jobs o di kaya ay di pwedeng maging Deejays. Tsaka trabaho nila ang manita at maging mahigpit, dahil kung hindi sila maghihigpit, baka magkaron ng LRT bombing part XXIII. Wala din naman sa job description nila ang maging innovative in times of trouble o maging pro-active when it comes to unique situations. Kalimitan, de kahon ang replies ng mga yan, kasi nga, kung tutuusin, foot soldiers sila, di sila generals. Kung lagi na lang nating iisipin na wag sumunod sa mga queues, we're needlessly making their jobs hard and we're also endangering others. Malay mo, isa sa mga innocuous-looking persons na ayaw pumila at magpa-x-ray ng bag ay may dalang C4. Wag maging utak-wangwang, Ms. Amalayer. Nakaka-asar din naman kasi na plain and simple lang ang pagpila e may mga tao pa rin na ang tingin e they're above such pleibian activities. At maghapon nilang ginagawa yon.

Speaking as a mataray-person and a former call center agent, kuha ko si Ms. Amalayer. Meron din naman kasing mga guards na power-tripping. Yun tipong: “I don't like the way your sunglasses are perched on your nose—take it off.” Wala man lamang please. Kahit wala sa katwiran, komo sila may hawak ng keys ni San Pedro, kelangan sumunod ka na lang. E malay mo, baka naman kasi may ginawang karumal-dumal na krimen at pusakal na Jaguar pala tong si Ate Lady Guard, baka naman warranted ang pag-a-amok ni Ms. Amalayer. Kung ako ang nasa posisyon nya, e baka mas malakas pa ang boses ko at marinig hanggang Katipunan station. Wala naman sa pagiging guard ka at mababa ka ang pinag-uusapan, nasa feeling nya e nabastos sya ang puno't-dulo ng gulo from her point-of-view. Di lang naman guards ang humaharap sa nakakainis na sitwasyon maghapon, halos lahat ng taong nagtatrabaho, may source of stress. At saka wag nyo namang hamakin si Ms. Amalayer komo nag-english sya. Alam mo kasi, pag lagi kang nag-i-english at sanay kang makipag-away sa English, mahirap humagilap ng tagalog words lalo na kung galit ka at natatabunan ng high-blood ang motor-functions ng neurons mo.

And speaking of her “Amalayer” accent, para kasing southern accent yan eh. Yung pang-redneck. I should know, I also speak like a redneck. Tang-ina, di ko sinasadya, pero kasi naman, ang puro naging kausap ko sa call center na pinagtrabahuhan ko e mga taga-south, so sa kanila ako nahawa. American accent nga, promdi naman. Di man lang nabiyayaan ng mga kausap na mga taga-New York or Boston man lang, para mas Brahmin ang dating. Kaya naiintindihan ko yung amalayer, kasi, ahmalayer din. Yung accent na yon, sila yung mga nagsasabi ng yore tarhs are flat on yore fahrtrack, mister. Pero I draw the line on saying y'all and yes, baws, no baws, and a'll git on it baws. Ah dahgress (slap me now).

My point is, wag na natin syang pasikatin pa. Let's all just move on and remember, kung tayo ang mapunta sa sitwasyon ni Ms. Amalayer, kung hindi ka nakikita ni God, may FB at Twitter namang nakabantay.  

Pinoy Election Blues

Do you like Mitt Romney Sarmenta? Let's ask the common Filipino voters.

Pedro : Tanda na.

Juan : Wala namang kilalang artistang ini-endorse sya, baka kasi hindi katiwatiwala.

Julian : Mas magaling si Obama sumayaw at kumanta.

Bhoy 1 : Eh mas guapo naman yung vice president nyang si Ryan.

Bhoy 2 : Katoliko naman yung vice president ni Obama. Sabi nga nya nung kasalukuyang hinahanting si Bin Laden, umattend daw sila ng misa.

Bhoy 1 : hoy, at least pag si Mitt Romney Sarmenta binoto, at namatay sya, pogi yung magiging POTUS.

Bhoy 2 : Di ba kay Paul Ryan ibinase yung bida dun sa mga isinapelikulang tungkol sa CIA operative, yung ang artista e si Ben Affleck at Alec Baldwin?

Bhoy 1 : Oo yata, pero iniba lang pangalan, ginawang Jack Ryan.

Bhoy 2 : Magaling pala yun!

Ako : wala akong alam jan, Pinoy ako na naninirahan kasalukuyan sa Sydney. Di ako apektado jan dahil sa Oztrelya, uso quarantine, bago makarating ang problema, ikuquarantine muna.

I was Wonder Woman

     I've just "discovered" Jango internet radio and I've tuned in to the Hits of the '80s. I Just Died in your Arms Tonight is playing, and instantly, I can picture Cris Villanueva rocking it on That's Entertainment, back when it was cool and not cringe-worthy to admit you're a fangirl. Sweet Dreams (are made of these) was on a loop in the concert scene being sung by everybody who can sing it. I was not into music then, all I knew of music is what blared on somebody else's radio and what was sung on T.V. You'd have to be deaf and dumb, though, if you could not identify what the hits were. New Wave passed me by, though a friend swears it's the best music that ever came out of God's creations. Personally, the '90s was where music came alive for me, I knew all the lyrics to my favorite songs, I knew who the bassist was, whether the drummer was prone to using a double bass or just a double-pedal. Although you must admit that '90s music is way darker than the '80s, what with Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Alice in Chains, with Wolfgang and Razorback locally. Light fare is Greenday and Parokya ni Edgar with their Basketcase and Buloy. 

     The '80s is just a blur for me. One of the earliest memories that I had is requesting to get a Wonder Woman costume and being so excited to get it. I opened the gift and was disappointed that the costume was not exactly like Wonder Woman's. It in fact is not a swimsuit with a bright sparkly belt, but a bikini top with long shorts. God, I wanted those bikini bottoms so badly and parade along Casubuan St. in my costume together with the whip. I could picture it so easily, cool as a cucumber walking in my Wonder Woman bikinis, careful not to stray too close to the canals lest my whip get some burak. Alas, my parents had my future self in mind when they exercised restraint and just bought a modest costume. Thank goodness for parents. Thank you Jango, for bringing it all back. 

Starting Over from The Rocks

Today I will be starting a new chapter in my life. I'll start pretending that I can write shit worth reading and be a blogger.

I'll pretend that my life is all great shakes and all that I will be doing is so rockin' that it will be worth writing about.

For a start, I'm going to The Rocks' weekend market. Mind you, it's The Rocks, not just any plain old rocks. I did not come up with the capitalisation, but as it is where the original Sydneysiders settled, I suppose it is entitled. It has long fascinated me, this place where thugs, prostis, and the lowlife abounded until it evolved to a place where to be seen in the nighttime is something rad.

I have Gotye's Somebody That I Used to Know blaring in my headphones as I'm writing this. I think that no summer is ever complete without its own theme song. I remember hearing Never Mind by Colors on the radio after a summer in isolation in Quezon and feeling like I lost 3 months of my life. It IS winter here but still summer in the Philippines.

Fuckin'A, whaddaya know, so many goodlooking toyboys coming my way, and I can't take pictures of the scenery while surreptitiously including them in the frame as I'm walking and they're against the light. Calling on digital camera makers, this really is for the good of humanity.

I managed to snag one but he's already tottering on his legs, the others quickly got away.